One of the areas in my life where I am quickly gaining knowledge is compassion. I was JUST beginning to think that I had a handle on it, but the further I get from surgery and the more normal (whatEVER that is) I “look”, the more I see where we fail each other.
Just because I look fine and I have not lost my intelligence or my moderate knowledge of things and stuff, people think I am doing great. Of course I can have a conversation with you about how a combustion engine works and ways to make it most effective with the least waste of energy, but I open the spice cabinet almost every times I head my coffee up in the microwave. Every single time I wonder where my coffee is. Then I remember, I am not heating it up with spices, I am increasing the temperature. Try the microwave. There it is. Or the day I was getting ready to go out and wondering why my boot felt so weird. My daughter brought me my boot and removed the glove from my foot. I laugh a lot at these events with my family because we are all scared of what they mean, and we don’t want to give up hope.
Yet people hear my witty banter and think I have no problems. So if I don’t look well, they ask, and I’ll tell you if I feel like vomiting, or my stomach hurts, or my head feels like it is in the process of a slow motion explosion. Then people advise me on what they think the best remedy is. You know my favorite is Kale. Apple cider vinegar mixed with water twice a day. Just give it all up to the Lord because by his stripes you are healed. (I hope my fellow church-folk didn’t think they would get away. Y’all the worst sometimes.) All of these answers I get without just a listening ear. Now, I just tell people I’m alive and go one about my business if I don’t avoid them altogether.
None of my doctors will see me right now, so maybe it’s a good thing that I am running into all of these people who know everything. We are waiting for the Cleveland Clinic visit because no one can fathom what is happening to my brain.
I know this though, you probably aren’t a doctor. More importantly, even if you are, people need comfort and validation during difficult periods in their lives. Stop giving so much advice and give some compassions, concern, love, attention, and care. It will help the people who need it so much more.
Also, check out The Life Of A Music Monkey to read about the highs and lows of my errday Chiari!