I have not talked about her much (I don’t think) but for Christmas I was given a Shillelagh because I couldn’t find a cane with a handle that didn’t hurt the palm of my hand. Eventually, I guess my stepdad found one that was genuine and the correct height, and he got it for me as I was using my canes more and more.
I was excited to get it. I know that it was Irish in nature, so I started doing some research so that I wouldn’t be ignorant of the beautiful walking aid I received. Turns out I received a weapon and I am keen to use it someday on that one person…
Anyway, mine is made of the traditional blackthorn and the club handle is a little larger than my fist. However, the shape of it fits my palm and causes less pressure so I can use it for longer periods of time. The bottom is thorny, black, and has a copper tip. We have covered the copper tip (as that is a tip off of it’s weapon status and weather stability matters) and I try not to herd people with Shanaylah (her given name) it actually gets people moving when they decide to clog up hallways and other places.
One of the great benefits of having it is that I can go for walks at night and I am less likely to fall and I have gained a pretty good idea of how to defensively wield Shanaylah. Prayerfully, that time will never come, I like peace.
Now I am pretty much always accompanied by my third leg and I am so thankful for it. I know some people don’t like the idea of having to use a cane and I understand the feeling of wanting to just walk. I have no shame anyway, so using a cane just allows me to live a little better than without it.
I know it is jarring to no longer be able to rely on a part of your body to behave as you have always expected, but at the very least, if you have to get a walking aid, find one that fits your personality and it will blend right in eventually. The only way to take back control, it so assimilate this new thing into your life and control it for your benefit. I don’t know if that sounds harsh, but I want so badly for people to know that there is no shame in doing what you have to do to live your best life.
Right now, I am a scared mess because I can’t control a lot of stuff, but with Shanaylah I am able to control my mobility and I have something there just in case my leg gives out so I don’t fall. It is not what I wanted for myself. I have been in physical therapy for about six months now and it has only gotten worse with the seizures. Thank goodness I have a way to get around, and now it is awesome and a little dangerous. We’ll see if they let me into the federal court with it. If not, trust me, there will be a post about it!